Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Every Child is Unique and Potty Training Proves It

Big Brother extolling the merits of big boy pants.  Little Brother looking super cute in them.  Gerber trainers reinforced with extra cotton and  a tie dye PUL section = homemade training pants that really work.

It is quite special to have two boys because it helps to illustrate the differences between siblings.  From day one, minute one, they were such distinctly different little creatures- looks, personality, temperament, build, you name it.  I have my curly brown haired, brown eyed boy and my straight blonde blonde boy with blue eyes.   I think the difference is also very apparent when addressing things like potty training.  Since they are so different in every way it makes it easier to know that younger brother may just be a bit more of a challenge when it comes to potty training.
My oldest has a bladder of steel so potty training was effortless.  Seriously.  When he was two and half my husband was changing a particularly nasty diaper and was annoyed that there were no clean diapers in the boys' room.  He turned to my son, asked if he'd like to start wearing his big boy underwear, my son said yes and the rest was history.
Now that is the abbreviated story.  We did spend a decent amount of time hyping the merits of big boy pants.  We had a couple of potty books and had practiced going potty on the little potty, so it wasn't unfamiliar territory but when he made the choice we never looked back.  He never had set backs or crazy accidents.  He immediately slept through the night without a wet bed.  Again, the kid has to be reminded if he starts to get a bit agitated that maybe it is because he hasn't peed in eighteen hours so he is an unusual case.
Younger brother is two and half and I don't quite see the same thing happening. He is running around in training pants right this minute but I am keeping my hopes in check.  I recognize that his bladder is not like his brother's steel trap.  I also don't want to push it.
Every friend that pushed the potty training had disastrous effects.  There were so many set backs to their adventure- especially those that followed that three day force feed your kid candy and don't leave the house program.  Sorry, that is just my perspective.  EC may be a very different and a more natural progression so I'll exclude the two people that are following that "movement."
Potty training and/or potty waiting is for me another opportunity to celebrate the fact that my kids are not cookie cutters of each other or of my husband and me for that matter. They both have their own lives to live and their own time lines.
Being a somewhat anxious person, I am also proud that I have learned to give them some space with these milestones.  I guess because I am so baby crazy I really haven't pushed any developmental markers.  I let them sit, walk, and talk when they were ready because no amount of fretting would have changed those outcomes.  This revelation has not worked for so many other areas of my life that I can not control yet continue to perseverate over so allow me some bragging rights, please.
Recently I have noticed a few mothers get so anxious about potty training that it makes me sad for them.  I worry that they will have issues if they turn it into a battle of wills.  My first was so easy but he is such a different person from his younger brother that it isn't a surprise.  It also isn't a strike against my little guy that he will with out a doubt train at an older age either.  He is just a different person.
He can't stand to have bunched up socks in his shoes but he is completely unfazed by sitting in a wet diaper.  I also know that he'll eventually wear the big boy pants full time, so I won't fret until, say, after he is four.
Having said all of that he does look super cute in his homemade training pants!  I also wouldn't mind a break from diapers but hey, it is a journey.
And as a perfect post script before I finished editing this I noticed the kid had wet his training pants.  "Hey buddy, did you go pee pee?"  
"I think so, look at the front of your training pants.  They are wet."
"No they aren't."
And so it goes. Pin It Now!

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